Fear robs you- Part 1

Part 1 of “4 things fear does”

1-Fear robs you.

Fear is a thief! It’s a thief of joy, peace, sleep, good thoughts and anything that holds you from taking a breath in freedom. Fear robs you from what God calls you to do and puts a hazy look on the dreams He places in your heart. It robs you from experiencing life.

I remember a time in my life when fear robbed me. 

After almost a decade of praying that God would give me and my husband a child, I finally got pregnant in 2010. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was standing in the kitchen waiting for the pregnancy test to give me a negative sign. I expected to see a negative sign because that’s what I was used to. I could barely stand up when what I thought would be a negative turned into a positive. I felt such intense emotion. I experienced overwhelming joy in that moment. I was going to have a baby! Fast forward 3 days later and I found myself in a place of darkness. The joy and excitement I felt a couple of days prior, turned into intense fear. Fear that crippled me for my entire pregnancy. 

On Sunday evening I walked downstairs to my basement and asked my husband to take me to the hospital because something wasn’t right. I was bleeding. Everyone said that these things happen but when it does, you become a little child under the covers hiding from the monster you think is in your room. My monster was the ER doctor that told me to prepare for a miscarriage because my hCG levels were falling. On a Thursday I experienced a blessing from heaven and on Sunday, I was paralyzed with thoughts like, “My child isn’t going to make it to full term”, “God is going to punish me for my past”, “Something bad is going to happen”. I was discharged from the hospital with these crippling thoughts. Funny thing is, I know God. I trust Him. For whatever reason, at that moment, fear tricked me into putting God in the backseat. The God that gives peace that surpasses all understanding seemed distant in that moment. I was looking at my present circumstances at the time, as the end. A couple of days later I got my results. My hCg levels were ok. Good, right? Guess what? Fear began to make a home in my mind and heart. All the things that I knew about the goodness of God was blurred by the sounds of a screaming and fearful heart. A time when I should’ve been celebrating, I was rolled up in my bed full of debilitating fear. My hospital visits wouldn’t end with that one. Many conversations were had about how I would miscarry my first child, Julia. Julia who is 8 years old now.
Nothing prepares you for news like that. Unfortunately, in a time when I should’ve leaned into the promises of God, I let fear sucker punch me and blind me from what I knew about Him. What I knew was this; that even if something bad did happen during my pregnancy, God was going to still be with me. He was going to be with my unborn child. My story wasn’t going to end with a, “You lose. Game over, Stacy.” I know this because the reality is that God has promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has a plan for me. He has a plan for you. When everything falls in my world, He carries me through and He will carry you. Bad things happen and sometimes they don’t make sense, but God is still a good and sovereign God. Fear tried to take this truth from me.
I’ve had to mourn several things since then, but when fear begins to rear its ugly head, I now get on my knees and begin to worship. I open up my bible and remind fear that God is still God and He is in control. Why? Because while I’m worshipping and soaking in truth, God is working in my heart and renewing my mind.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4, 7 (NIV)

Don’t let fear sucker punch you. Don’t let fear trick you into believing in something that isn’t true or hasn’t even happened yet. If fear gets a tight grip on you, then it can shut you up and sit you down. I personally don’t like when someone tells me to shut up and sit down. We weren’t meant to retreat in fear, we were meant to rely on the God who already won the war for us.